It’s not surprising, really. Our bodies are extremely complex organisms, and our brain is the most complex organ in our body. If something can go wrong with other parts of our bodies (diabetes, heart disease, hepatitis, etc.), then something can also go wrong with our brain. We are complex; we are also fragile.
When something does go wrong with the brain, life gets out of balance for the person affected and for the family and friends of that person. A brain disorder doesn’t ordinarily lead to a headache, a broken bone, or anything else that can be diagnosed through a blood test, CAT scan, MRI, X-ray, or thermometer. But it is very real.
A brain disorder results in changed behavior – sometimes bizarre behavior. We call it mental illness or a mental health problem. It is just as pervasive and destructive as physical illnesses but since we know so little about it and because there is a stigma attached to the behavior associated with mental illness, we generally don’t know how to react. But here is the central point: it is an illness, a brain disorder, not a character defect. Recovery means to manage the illness, not punish the person because of unacceptable behavior.
I intend to deal with the many issues surrounding mental illness in this blog. The primary audience is the family and friends of anyone who struggles with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or any other form of mental illness. Anyone with a brain disorder themselves, and anyone interested in this experience, is also welcome to read and comment. I intend this blog to be a conversation, so please join in.
I am not a doctor, psychologist, or counselor, so I don’t approach these issues from a medical or clinical perspective. I am a father whose daughter, Karla, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 and who died by suicide in January of 2003 at age 26. Following her death, our family (Fran, my wife, and Kevin, our son and Karla’s twin) formed the Karla Smith Foundation whose mission is to “provide hope for a balanced life to family and friends of anyone with a mental illness or who lost a loved one to suicide.” (www.KarlaSmithFoundation.org).
Why is this blog necessary and helpful? I can think of three reasons: 1) Most of the information about mental illness is focused on the person who has the diagnosis. Even when family members research these sites, the data is about the illness. This blog will focus on the family and friends and their issues. 2) I will post articles on both mental illness and suicide, since we experienced both. The greatest fear for many family members who try to cope with the mental illness of a loved one is a possible suicide. We hear it often in our support groups and we felt it deeply before Karla died. For those who lost a loved one to suicide, this blog may help them come to understand a little better why their loved one took their life. 3) My approach here will be personal and conversational, not as a professional, mental health provider, but as someone who wants to walk side by side with you as you cope with the baffling brain disorder, not character defect, of your loved one.
There is hope. Believe it, and know that you are not alone.
