Talk it out. Whatever the issue, talk about it. You don’t have to talk to everyone about it, but the common advice is to speak to someone you trust about it – whatever “it” is. Don’t keep things bottled up inside you. Eventually it will interfere with your life, rob you of spontaneity, make you guarded and fearful, isolate you, and probably, turn into anger, resentment, negativity, and failed relationships. Pretty heavy consequences for not talking about it, right?
Mental illness and living with someone with mental health problems is a case in point. Because of stigma and misunderstanding, many people do not talk about their own mental illness or the mental health issues of a loved one. In fact, less than 20% of people with a diagnosable mental illness even seek the help they need. Can you imagine only 20% of people with cancer or heart disease seeking help? There is a great and destructive silence about mental illness.
Common sense, of course, applies. People with mental health issues and their loved ones do not need to tell everyone about these problems. But they need to talk to someone who understands their situation, does not judge them, and who can provide some helpful information and hope for a better life. The Karla Smith Foundation (KSF) (www.KarlaSmithFoundation.org) promotes a strategy that says: “Urge our loved one to maintain a supportive relationship with a therapist, counselor, or sponsor.” At this level, “talking about it” means seeking professional help.
There are other dimensions to talking about mental health issues. It often helps to talk with someone who has a similar experience. There is an automatic connection with people who have similar problems even when there is no quick fix or easy solution. The awareness that you share the concerns with other people reduces the burden. The quickest way to find other people who face these issues is to join a support group. KSF can help you find or start one of these groups.
The silence and stigma surrounding mental illness is a primary obstacle for millions of people with a brain disorder and their families and friends. But recovery is possible for everyone associated with a mental illness. That recovery begins with talking about it to someone who can listen, support, encourage, and guide. And after talking with one person, talk to another person who can help, then another, and eventually a counselor, therapist or sponsor. Somewhere along the way, join a support group.
Mental illness is so baffling and frustrating that no one can be expected to cope with it alone. We all need others to walk with us as we try to understand and get our lives in balance.
Talk about it.
